Who's the boss? You or your howler

You are an adult. Act like one. Begging a child to behave in a public space is simply degrading.

I don't even have to deconstruct your life or follow you home to know that you are probably a bad parent - or at least an overworked one. Your older howler already has a hand-held video game that he won't even look up from. The younger howler sitting in the grocery buggy has not one but three action figures.

The fact that you can't pry these things out of their hands for a fifteen-minute run into the grocery store to buy milk and cat food shows that you failed Parenting 101: Setting Limits.

The older howler plops down on an unused grocery bag turnstile and starts playing his game. The line moves past him there are now several people in between you and him. You call his name. He looks at you and goes back to his game. Ha. Who's got the power in this little drama? It sure ain't you.

You call his name again. Same thing happens. You raise your voice and start to get whiny "Howler, will you please come here." He gives you a dirty look and goes back to his game. This continues until you are yelling at him to come over. Which he finally does with a sigh and another dirty look.

Ma'am - your howler monkey is already ignoring you at nine years old. You are waging a war of wills with him - IN PUBLIC - and losing. Imagine what's going to happen when he really starts making trouble.

You can't get him to close his video game and walk 10 feet - at age nine. At age 16 your voice will be nothing more than static in his ears - if it isn't already.

Take the video games and action figures away from your howler monkeys. Talk to them. Read to them. Books is gud! Because today's howler monkeys are smarter, meaner, more conniving and far, far more vicious than you would ever imagine they can be. If you aren't in control of them by age 5, you are never going to be!