Dangerous Howlers Within

If you see a CAUTION sign, please restrain your howler. It will NOT be our fault if your vagina fruit becomes incapacitated or otherwise dies because you are stupid.

A bottle of pool chemicals managed to burst open Sunday. We put out the orange caution cones and liberally applied paper towels to staunch the flow of "trip and fall" accidents. We call maintenance, but they have to finish a clogged toilet.

While I'm helping customers, I see a woman put her child down - TO PLAY ON THE MOUND of paper towels with chemical fumes rising from it!

I start asking "Is that your son?" When I get a yes, I look right at her and go "Ma'am, those are chemicals. Bleach and pool chemicals. We have caution cones and maintenance is on the way. I really need you to please ask your little boy to come away from there."

She gives me the evil eye and goes "Well I guess you better come here then Billy." She holds him for a minute then he wriggles down and tries to run right back to start jumping on the pile of paper towels. I look right at her and hit her with a stare that would make a Medusa shriek with pain. She goes over and grabs him.

OK. You see three caution cones and a gigantic mountain of paper towels the size of Mount Doom. The smell would knock over a horse. You need to get control over your crotch fruit. Or do you have it trained so well that you can see a potential lawsuit and you just want to have the spawn break a leg and start suing?

If you cannot control it, or if you cannot teach it to behave in public, leave it at home.