If it won't sit down, tie it to the chair and gag it. With corn on the cob. Better yet, leave it at home.
Restaurants are not a natural habitat for howler monkeys. Dining establishments should never devolve into a zoo. I don't care where it is - white tablecloth and cut crystal decanters right down to plastic booths - no one wants to see (or hear) your crotchlings running races in the aisles as servers carrying trays laden with SIZZLING HOT DISHES dodge them.
I appreciate you want family time. However, learning begins at home. Suck it up, get your face out of the plate of nachos and tie your howler monkey's tail to the chair. If that Awesome Blossom is so important, get it to go and spare us your spawn!
If it cries, screams, howls and otherwise bleats for attention, that should be a clue that YOU have heretofore failed as a parent. Go back two spaces and start over in teaching your child to sit down, shut up and behave in public.
PS: No howler monkey can reasonably be expected to sit through a two-hour family reunion drunk-fest with drinks, appetizers and meals for 15 people. You suck. Get a babysitter. The children don't care and will soon start throwing French fries in frustration. Be glad it's not me. I'd throw glassware.
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2 comments:
ROFL..... i have to say - i live in the only area that when a baby cries, over 1/2 the restaurant jumps up to offer to hold it so you can eat. Same for going to WM - offers of, "Can i give you my number to babysit for you???"
God Bless living in a retirement community where the people rarely see their grandkids and suck up any kids - even my trio of cute ones that are sometimes a bit loud.
I'd suggest NOT requesting that transfer to the Villages ;)
Great job reminding me why I don't really want to go back into customer service supervision :D
i am in absolute agreement about leaving the kids at home. for the most part they're only going to eat a burger or fries anyway - save yourself the $40 in overpriced "kid's menu" items and leave their butts at home w/ a sitter. Part of the problem is parents have been made to think it's a bad thing to leave the kids at home w/ a sitter or they "can't" find anyone to sit for them. Chances are - if you can't find anyone to sit for you - there's probably a reason. you're raising damien or denace the menace and no one wants to be around your raging hellions.
personally - i don't like OTHER people's kids. my own was fine and i could put up with any amount of behavior at home but i'm not about to tolerate his acting like a horse's ass in public and embarrassing me. i have left full carts of groceries at the store because he wouldn't behave and i had no choice but let him squall for the "impulse" items at the checkout (thereby annoying the absolute bejesus out of me and everyone around me) or to just leave. i chose to leave on two separate occasions and told him flat out - you will not be going to the store w/ me again anytime soon because you cannot behave. for two months afterwards i shopped at midnight (because my husband worked 3 to midnight and it was the only time i could) in order to be able to leave him at home.
the problem isn't with the kids - it's with the parents and their inability to parent. since when did discipline become a bad word?
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